Thursday, 4 September 2014


...a young girl's diary

 My mother goes for vigils in church almost every Friday of the week because she is in the prayer group. During nights like that, my father would not sleep on the bed,instead he'll sit on his chair and pray, walk around the house in prayer or even or even listen to music till he falls asleep on the chair. While other nights when he is too tired, he sleeps like a log of wood on the bed. But on some special nights like this one I'm about to tell you, things go 'bump'.

My mother travelled this morning and I don't have an idea as to when she would be back. After jumping buses when returning from school, eating less food, I was extremely tired so sleep came quickly.

 I have a new friend who keeps calling my phone at odd hours,even when I told him to reduce and stop it. This night, he kept on calling -when I later checked it was close to fifteen missed calls- I didn't move, not sure I heard anything till I felt a touch. My sense jumped with a start as I blinked my eyes open in the dark. I remained still, till I felt his hands resting on my knee for a while.

Boy Girl Thing.

A real man doesn't say I Love You after or during the first meeting. He makes hints on the second.

Tuesday, 6 May 2014


...a young girl's diary
Before I explain what hapened, let me explane how we ushually sleep in my momy and daddy room. My daddy sleeps on the extreme of the bed, my mother next, then me. That night, my mommy stood up to ureenate and as ushual to check on my brothers- if moskwitoes were biting them so as to kill them,not my brothers but the moskwitoes. How did I know? I don't sleep deep, my mommy ushually say that I have hot blood and hostel life has changed me. The next thing I knew my daddy rolled over in his sleep, seeking for the body next to his and the next thing I knew, daddy rapped me me to his side, in my mind, I did not want to roll over so that they would not know that I was awake. I did not know what to do! What would you have done? My mommy saved me that night when she came back in. She saw my daddy and his hand on me. She slapped his hand away and I still preetended to be asleep so that no one would be hembarased and I heard them converse as my daddy woke up with a start; 'Ahan..what happend?' my momy asked. 'I didn't even know you were gone, I was only trying to stretch out and thought it was you' my father replied. 'This girl is not a small girl o,she is in basic two, if not for your stupid son......' my mother continued as various thoughts raced through my mind. What if I was not a light sleeper, what if my dad had not woken up form his slumber on time? I was too -as my big brothers would say- wired up to sleep. I only faked my sleep that night. That was not all! That was just the beginning...... What do you think of this situation? Would love to hear from you..... By MARGARET ADETIMEHIN. NEXT: Things that go bump in the night 3


...a story of clashes between a brain and its heart.

Now here I am, hearing voices, replaying scenes, listening to music- 'Save The Best For Last', 'Prettiest Friend', 'Oh Lord My God When I In Awesome Wonder'- and thinking about my life. It feels so messed up because I never wished to be in this dilemma. Messed up because the guy I like would or may never ask me out. I am happy about it you know - knowing your fate in one area of your life is in attached to another department and you can move into other departments and not get messed up because you are already messed up. So messed up by the fact that the guy whom you are stuck to knows he is not worth it because he knows he doesn't and yet doesn't want to change even when he knows he has the power to. There are many reasons why it's messed up, that I can't type here right now. That my sister would tell me to abstain from alcohol, when I've only thought about it- about getting drunk once- not even drank it. That is how messed up my life is and I feel so helpless in this messed up state that even if I explain to you, you'ld not understand for a while. But whats the essence of understanding when my story just begun. If you don't understand, try reading my story from the start. And if you care enough, I would like to hear from you Yours Sincerely, Ifeoma Childs. By MARGARET ADETIMEHIN


This poem is dedicated to students living in the northern parts of Nigeria,whom the constant attack by terrorists has left them in a dilemma. 

I'm going to be through with my assignment tomorrow,
A student once exclaimed,
Little did she know that her doom would come that night,  
Innocent souls,studying tediously for exams. 

The cry of a student in Borno state,
The cry of a student in Chibok town,
The cry of a student in Kaduna,
The cry of a student in Nigeria.

Such massacre and atrocities in the nation.
Fathers grumbling, mothers wailing,
Agony and tears in the land.
The cry of students from the world beyond I can feel.  

These insurgents! 
They make the students cry, killing continuously,  
Slaughtering, torturing, 

The cry of a student in Borno state,
The cry of a student in Chibok town,
The cry of a student in Kaduna,
The cry of a student in Nigeria.

The students are crying,
They need help, 
Who would stop the cry of the student?


Thursday, 1 May 2014

THE URGE (part 2)

..everyone needs a mentor.

Walking briskly was out of the question 'cause she was late, she didn't have a care for the seminar(@ the auditorium), her main mission was to submit her assignment and she had already signalled Desmon Elliot to wait.

'urm... Good afternoon Tina,' he said, as they met, they met they resumed their walk to the auditorium.
Smiling, she glanced at him and returned her greeting.

Her Desmond Elliot was almost a look alike of the real Desmond Elliot who is a Nigerian actor. His build,fat and muscles, the shape of his head and his lazy smiles, were similar. In a level below hers, he was one the best in academics.

'and how are you today?' she asked.

 'not too fine.'

'oops, sorry to hear that. Are they done yet?'


'thank God,' she said with a smile, ' and my level mates, are they there? Like, are we much?'

'no, most of them just came to fill the attendance list,their expressions like they had better things to do, and few stayed on'

Tina smiled, remembering what her level mates had done in class when the ultimatum had been given.
'they shouldn't have laughed.' she said to no one in particular.

'uhn? You said?'

'no, don't worry'.

When they got to the auditorium(which had a galleria above), the seats below were all taken, she smiled at familiar faces, chatted with acquaintances, wrote her name on the sheet, asked for where and whom to submit to and was told to go upstairs,the galleria of the auditorium.

On getting up, she noticed the speaker on the podium below and fell in love instantly. She returned her gaze back to the galleria and glanced all around, searching for whom to submit to but didn't find her, which made her proceed to her nearest level mate. Innocent.

She waited where she was until she caught his attention with her gaze, they both smiled as she walked up to him.

'good morning.' she said.

'good morning and you are late.'

'yeah, I know. Who is she?' she asked as she nudged her head towards the woman below,speaking.

'oooo, that's the guest speaker' Tina raised her brows , interested in more info, ' from JABU, that private university.'

'hmm, I like her. She has this thing about her. Look at her,I'm sure she's like fifty years of age but she looks so young and agile and sure of herself.'

'she was their previous Vice-chancellor'.

Hearing that it sealed Tina's love for here, Professor Sidi or so was written on the projector below.

'I have a new mentor!' she mouthed with a big smile at Innocent. After starring for sometime at the lady, she asked Innocent where to submit and was told to go all the way back to the department. It was double trouble.

'would you come back?'

'naturally, I wont, but because of this woman, I would', she waltzed downstairs seeking who would follow her to and fro.

NEXT: The urge 3


...a story of the clashes between a brain and its heart


'nothing.' I said.
'come over to my place, its not far from yours. I don't have money on me, but you could still come over.' He pleaded over and over.
I smiled to myself. 
This coming from the same person who had said some few days back that I stay away from him.
'My brother is around, don't you wanna hang out?' he continued.
' I can't.... I have the money and time, but.... I can't. Next time please.' I replied.
'okay no problem. Take care of yourself.'he remorsefully said.
'sure would... And you also,eat well.'
'yeah, later.' he said curtly.
Beep, beep beep.
I felt so proud of myself. There I was laying on the bed feeling like, 'Ifeoma! Jeez, what are you doing at home? He was begging, ... Chai, Ify..... You didn't try o.'
But in my head, I was patting myself on my back,smiling sheepishly ,saying, 'welldone'.

That was just the beginning of the war that week between my heart and my head.

Time flew, three days later, I found myself walking down the street to catch a bus to Ikeja when I dialled his number and told him to expect me later in the day. I hung up and my head told my heart, 'what did you just do!'
My heart,sitting on a cloud playing violin with a smile on its face said, 'she needs it.'
Concluding my errand, I decided to head to his place. There were so many routes to his place and I was hoping I wouldn't get lost - imagine the explanation I would give my parents when asked whom I was looking for.

I got down from the bus,then the elderly woman who had alighted with me tugged my arm saying she would show me the way, I gladly accepted and curiously looked at the busy road.
I dialed his number,he picked, and like every other time, we had a serious debate on whether I should wait were I was,or alighted at a previous bus-stop, till my airtime finished!
I was still walking with the elderly woman as I stared angrily at my phone and cursed my network operator.

NEXT: Another Messed Up Life 8‬


...a story of the clashes between a brain and its heart

Burp..... Burp......
The line went, on the fourth burp,he picked and was surprised I was calling around that time. I explained the situation and he said he was not up to it, that he was falling sick frequently to risk his sleep, also that he was about to sleep when he saw the caller ID, if it weren't me, he wouldn't have picked and finally promised to call me during the day, note, he said he would call me, I didn't suggest or insist that he should.
I called my previous buddy back and explained the situation and not long, DISCO (distribution company) brought the electrical power back.
The following morning, I waited, waited and.... Waited! He didn't call. I sent him a wake up text, bleep! No reply. I wrote poems upon poems in my diary, trying to while away time, taaah daaah.... No call. I sent another text message, my pride withholding me from calling, it didn't go through.
He finally sent a text saying he was out of airtime and cash that's why he couldn't call. We found a way out and I sent him some poems. His replies were that I stay away from him, blah, blah blah. Reading his replies, I smiled, knowing we wouldn't keep to whatever he was saying, also, knowing that all I was sending were to free my mind from toxic thoughts.
He later called few days later and asked what I'll be doing that Saturday, and I said;

NEXT: Another Messed Up Life 7‬

Loves is all chatter. Friends are all that matter.


..a story of the clashes between a brain and its heart

Not long after that, I called my roomie who had remained in school to travel back home the following day and told her about his call and relayed his happy valentine message to her. She laughed at my enthusiasm and said,
"great! Let him miss you well. Don't call him until the seventh call."
I smiled as we shared our goodbyes. I reflected on it and smiled, feeling that euphoric feeling that I could do anything, even stay away from him till his seventh call.
Four days after the last call, he called, words could not describe how I felt. He was definitely possessed by something or someone else,why? He rarely called till I flash him or when I withhold information while chatting with him. For this call, he called to say hi, so he claimed, to check up on me,we said our goodbyes and I called her again and she laughed with me at my funny attitude.
Few days later, I couldn't sleep; the heat, mosquitoes,name it, they were just too much to take in and I decided to forgo sleep. I was so bored and after saying silent prayers to God, I sat outside and started making routine random calls to my external family and it was fun until I got to him. I had a serious battle with myself,that I should stick to the seven call route. My head said yes, my heart said no. I got talking to a different friend and I decided to chirp in the fact that I could make the call conference and he agreed. My heart finally won, so I decided to call him and check if he was up for a midnight conference call.

NEXT: Another Messed Up Life 6

THE URGE (part 1)

...Everyone needs a mentor.


As she got down from the bus, she adjusted her skirt which had ridden up from below her knees to some inches above during the short ride from Obanla to Obakekere. As the bus moved on, she checked the road twice, left, right and missed being hit by a car 'cause she was in a great hurry.

The weather had not let up since 6:15am,the sun coming out that early,was causing serious damage to the skin and if she was scared of skin cancer at all, would have rented a cab or worn head to toe jalamia. The only ones enjoying the heat of the day were the trees which were blossoming and moving at the slight movement of the wind. Petals,red,filled the tarred road and made it look like someone had spilled blood everywhere, it was so beautiful.

Finally seeing an opportunity to cross, the lady in sleeveless brown turtle neck shirt,a black skirt, with a matching bag of red and brown,looked perfect to being the invited guest she was yet to see and meet, if not for wearing a sandal under all that ran across the road, oblivious to the appreciating looks of the men and admiring stares of the women at her composure.

In her head, she knew she was late, like late late for the seminar which was to start 10am, because of the ultimatum given to them by the staff adviser,until she saw Ayo, whom she called Desmond Elliot.

NEXT: The urge 2


...a story of the clashes between a brain and its heart

...that I repeated my happy valentine again and continued the conversation since we were usually short of what to say on the phone.
"soo...what are you doing today,taking your girlfriends out? What?"
"i am tired." he reluctantly said.
"why?" my motherly instincts kicked in.
"been busy now....,told you we were moving" he said patiently then kept on talking about other stuffs that were going on in his house.

True, he had told me they were moving, that was the main reason he had traveled back so early.

"so what are you doing?", he finally asked.

"i'm on my way back to Lagos." I responded.

"urm.... I cant hear you. Take care of yourself, talk to you soon."

After he hung up, I was so happy that he called me, was going to feel miserable just like me on Valentine's day, not that I don't like his happiness,but that feeling of knowing someone out there is experiencing almost the same thing you are experiencing because of someone else,in this case,our parent,that you know you are not alone, just like MJ said. Words could not describe how I felt that moment.

I was on cloud nine!

NEXT: Another Messed Up Life 5‬


...a story of the clashes between a brain and its heart

I can't begin to punish myself for my foolishness and wonder how I got here,here being; this messed-up, confused, going back on my word point of my life. I truly can't begin how the story started three years ago, but I can give insights of two-three weeks ago till-date.
Weeks ago, I had made up my mind, (mind you not the first time about this issue) that I would have nothing to do with Mike, I even told my roomie about my plan and she tried convincing me to give up my idea and go with the flow and later accepted my plan,even championed it. A week after, school vacated, he left for home and I acted nonchalant ,when in my mind I wanted to see him off to the garage. I didn't call to confirm if he got home safely or otherwise,instead, I called a friend that traveled together with him and was staying at his place and felt a twinge of happiness that he was going to be around while my friend received my call and feel jealous then call back, whew, stars don't fall everyday. He didn't call.
First day, second day, I missed him like crazy! Lodge mates and friends came and went and some made comments about me missing him of which I smiled. I felt so happy that I not called him. If I was ever going to diet, I would succeed!
On the third day, Valentine's day, I received a call on my way Ondo town to join my dad who was attending a family funeral so that we could head back to Lagos together. I picked up without looking at the unsaved contact number,the cab was noisy so many deficits, I didn't know who I was talking with and was acting like 
 I knew the person till I gave in and asked,
"please, who am I speaking with?"
"human being.".
That was one of our numerous codes -instead of saying names and the likes- we used. I was so shocked that...


...a story of the clashes between a brain and its heart.

I was meant to travel a week before,but God has not deemed it for his will to correspond with mine. I was not feeling bad that I had not traveled, but because I had broken my word to countless people. One of my numerous resumption plan was that once I got to school,when I develop the courage, I would either buy or get alcoholic drinks,drink to stupor and feel,also know, what it's like to be drunk and to also have a hang over. It was just a thought! A THOUGHT! Few days later after the thought, my sister broke our engagement for that day and summoned me over to her place and broke the news that she had someone who knows me well,but I don't know the person that well tell her a revelation about me. Me!

Hope you understand the twisted statement above, I guess you do. Well,don't you dare try going against my sister's dreams because, it would surely catch up with you. That is just the second part of being a messed-up-girl.

The third and main part of being messed-up,like every other messed-up story,involves the opposite sex.
There is a boy I like, his name, Mike. If anyone had told me three-four years ago,even if I had seen a vision that I would act and behave stupid for, with, at, on, whatever preposition you can find, for a guy, I would have looked them in the face , smiled deviously and said,calmly, "NEVER".

Next; Another Messed Up Life 3‬


...story of the clashes between a brain and its heart

Wait,wait....", she called.
I walked back towards her as she walked back towards me. We had parted ways few seconds ago after a very interesting visit to my cousin's who had a baby of barely three months who would have passed as a six months due to his size. Looking at her, I felt the usual excitement,wonder and gratefulness of the height I was gifted with and I also felt that she had little change she wanted to bestow on me,which I wanted desperately because I had borrowed money from my brother and promised to pay back today.
We stopped,two step from each other and she said, just like she did three days ago in her comfortable living room,
"You are going back to school, if at all you drink,stop it, and if you don't, don't and even,never try it. It would be the end of you. Take care of yourself.".
Deep down inside I responded,rolling my eyes saying, "What a life!". In reality, I smiled solemnly and gave her my what-do-you-take-me-for-look at my beloved, somewhat overprotective sister that I am getting to know. And with that, she turned and walked away,as she had told me when we were leaving her house, back to her tailor's,while I head back home, or rather, the place that was temporarily my home.
Feeling the slight breeze, incessant chatter, hums from television in the houses I passed by, oblivious but at the same time conscious of the consistent potholes and rough ground. I kept on walking the way a man/robot would,or as I would protest and say, the way a 17th century woman would,head held high,cheeks forward,shoulders straight and stretching my long legs. The streets would have been dark but thanks to the stray rays of light from houses both fenced and unfenced. I blocked my ears to the usual calls from passer-by and strangers,men and children,the "Hellos", "Sweetheart", "fine girl", e.t.c. And kept on treading towards my destination. I sang songs that made me feel like I'm so not the only person going through what I am going through, feeling what I am feeling, and right now, I am feeling so much like a "messed-up-girl". How i came by that feeling today? Here it goes.

Next: Another Messed Up Life (part 2‬)

Wednesday, 30 April 2014


...a young girl's diary.

If by any chance you stumble on this, can I trust you to keep a secret?
If yes, don't read this any fourda and if no.... go on, read it all.

They've returned the nutcase back to our new house. Not literarily but... urm.... I duno wish tam to use becos I am still learning the big words. But... I have a stepbrother who is an... adict to cgaret and whatsoever gets him high. He was put in the rehab centre before but has been returned to my house.

To let this sink better,we had to move from our luxzury house to a house that looks like a match box. When I asked daddy why, daddy said our green grass has turned brown on the edge. So I told him to make it green back because I dont like this house-the match box- and he told me God would help us,so I pray to him everyday also so he won't hear only dady.

Our lovely matchbox-lovely becus dady said I should look at it like our former- contains a living room,which becomes a bed room at night. To left is the majestic master bedroom-dady and momy room- which I love the most because it is spacious and venteelated! Sometimes I wonder who construcked the house becaus things are not in the same propurtion. To the right side is another bedroom in which my big brothers sleep in. Adjasent to their room is the kitchen and a bathroom as well as toilet. All the rooms have doors save the kitchen.
Now you know my house.

Everybody is afraid of my stepbrother. I stay in the hostel in school and come home on holidays as you've noticed from my previous entries, so I dont get to see him.

When I came home this holiday after the big move from our luxzury house during my stay in school, momy and daddy did not want me to sleep in the same room with my brothers so I was hallowed to sleep in theirs with them.

It was wonderful,that was what I thought, until I heard my brothers talking about it saying momy took me into their room so that I would not be raped by our nutcase.
My thoughts ran wild, on the word 'rape'. I asked the most brilliant girl in our class the following day what 'rape' meant. She asked if any boy had touched me in my funny places, but I pushed her to tell me the meaning. When I knew the meaning, I realized my momy and dady love me.
With this plans, things went smutly until one night when...

NEXT: Things that go bump in the night 2